No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
