There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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