Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
