i jhust puked up my retainher.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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