Say something about gay babies.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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