a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
