I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
