im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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