our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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