I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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