Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
