I'm drive I can fine osifer
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
