Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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