I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
