Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
