Me too!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry about my life...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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