I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the day after is always just damage control
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID