Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....