I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
this will be a night to untag.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.