He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
