you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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