I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize