kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
