spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
