So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
