my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
