it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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