the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
