Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
