Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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