as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
