Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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