did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
