One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
