Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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