Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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