Do vagina's smell?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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