Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
