1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
