i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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