just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize