I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
