Sponge bath it is.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
