Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
