So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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