How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
