Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
