man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
