I accidentally burped into my bong.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
