I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
