i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
do nipples grow back?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
