It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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