Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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