Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You took a bar mat shot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
