Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
