Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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