like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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