I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
