i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize