Dual....:-)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
