Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize