just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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