my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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